I cannot live this Christian life. It is too hard on my own. I get so frustrated with what I feel that I need to do and I just want to revolutionize the world for God, but I can't. I have been trying to do everything for God and save people for him and bring them closer to Him, but I haven't been able to. In the past, I have discipled several people in growing closer to God, but it has turned out that they were never really saved in the first place. That is right. I discipled one young man and the following summer he realized that he was never saved and accepted Christ at camp. I discipled another guy who was looking to be in the ministry. It has been a year since I worked closely with him and a couple of weeks ago he sucked up his pride and asked God to call the shots as Savior and Lord in his life. I married my wife who realized a year ago that she was not saved. After a year of being married, I never had the insight to see that she had never truly given her life to God. I thought I had this Christian life figured out. But then God just keeps sending surprises my way.
Lately I have been reading some interesting books deciding a little more about Christianity. So after reading I try to apply what I have read. I guess that I am looking for a sure way to be a Super Christian. I figured out that I just can't do this on my own cause really I just mess things up. So now I guess that I am just going to have to let God do all the work. Yeah, I will be available to be used by Him, but I really need to stop trying to save people on my own, cause it really has not gotten me anywhere. I suppose that is why Paul writes about dying daily to self and allowing God to do the transforming. And I guess that is why the Bible is full of mess ups that God used despite their blatantly obvious mistakes. There is no one who has it together. Those closest to God's will are the ones that are continually clinging to God's grace not relying on their selves, but understanding that it is God who works through us for His good pleasure.